I do not have the body of a dancer. Not lean, not long, not lithe. Too much on top, too much on the bottom. But my soul?
My soul is the soul of a dancer.
I’ve talked about how much I love dance before, but it really is difficult to express just how vital dance is to me. I need it as much as my body needs air; without dance my soul would wither.
If I lost my legs in an accident, I would develop a prosthetic so I could dance. If given a choice between losing my eyesight or my hearing, I would choose the gift of hearing music. When I imagine my perfect home, it is in a city near a tropical beach with plenty of sushi and, most importantly, incredible places to dance.
The Hayden-Saurus
I took ballet when I was a child.
Looking back at those pictures is a mix of joy and chagrin. I look so happy, my form and posture absolutely regal. But I also look like a dinosaur compared to the other girls in my glass. Big and stumpy.
Around 10, I knew I could never become a “professional dancer”. I was not ballerina material. I was not even Flamenco or Broadway material. There was no way I could conceive of ever earning my living as a dancer.
Failing
That realization did not keep my from applying to the dance magnet program at Coral Reef. I flamed out at the audition. I just couldn’t pick up the choreography quickly enough.
After that, I only took two more dance classes. Once in middle school (where they made us dance to the atrocious “What I Like About You”) and a flamenco class last year. Both times I had, again, struggled with the choreography.
When I did nail the choreography, instead of feeling triumphant I just felt empty. Perfunctory. I felt the satisfaction of completing a chore but no joy in the doing. No joy in dancing.
The Alternate Reality
I finally realized that if I had possessed the perfect dancer’s body, I would have rushed headlong into a career of dance. And because I had natural talent and would have possessed the right “look”, people would have cut me slack on my ability to remember choreography.
I would have gone to school and attended tryouts and would have ended up with a mediocre and extremely frustrating career in something I used to love.
Defining Our Talent
Today I read a phenomenal post called The Power of Talent and decided that it was time to share and rejoice in my talent.
Society defines dance in choreographed music videos, Broadway shows, and ballet performances. Someone dancing in the street or the sidewalk is crazy. Dance does not belong outside of the socially defined parameters.
Look how uncomfortably this begins.
We’ve disconnected dance from our culture. We have, instead, relegated it to the purview of seedy clubs and late-night discos.
Where we legitimize dance, we’ve disconnected the artist from the expression of artistry. Choreographers create the dance while dancers are the technical execution of someone else’s dream and vision. (Ever wonder why so many dancers become choreographers?)
We’ve disconnected dance from ourselves. There was a time when dance was a sacred part of our community, a vital expression of our universe. If you want to dance today, you either show up to class, go to a club, or wait around for a wedding.
The Wrong Measuring Stick
I used to bemoan my physical construction as a Hayden-saurus. But could I have survived my childhood if I were physically more delicate? I wonder. And I know that not having the ‘right body’ for dance saved me a lot of heart ache. The universe, my friends, knows what it is doing.
While I was frustrated that I wasn’t a good dancer, I knew I was good at dance. But how could that possibly be true? It was true because I had adopted society’s definition of what constituted a “dancer”.
The right paradigm changes everything.






6 comments
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May 7, 2009 at 7:27 pm
positivelypresent
Love this post! Have you heard The Killers’ song “Human”? You might like the line that says, “Are we humans or are we dancers?” It’s a great song!
hayden tompkins says:
Bah! I’m at a computer with no speakers! Will definitely check it out…love love LOVE The Killers.
May 7, 2009 at 11:55 pm
thedailydish
I too discovered long ago I’d never be a dancer (too tall, too long, too gawky) but thankfully when I do dance, I shut my eyes and let the music take over. Some of the best dance I’ve seen has been just like that. Watching others with their own free form expression of joy. I think it’s tragic some people never allow themselves the pleasure because of self-consciousness. DanceON baby!!
hayden tompkins says:
“free form expression of joy” yes yes YES! Exactly.
Dance on, Dishy!
May 8, 2009 at 8:52 pm
thedailydish
Love you Hayden! xo
May 10, 2009 at 11:24 am
dreemwhrld
This weekend I’ve proved to myself once again that I am not the dancer I wish I was. For the third time in my life, I dislocated my knee. All three times have been while dancing – the first was at my junior homecoming dance, the second in a club, and the third last night at a DJ Festival.
It was an all night affair, lasting until 6am, but I managed to dislocate my knee before the sun had even set. I was determined to not let it ruin my evening. So I gave myself time to rest until I heard a song that I absolutely could not sit still to (Blue Monday), when I hobbled to the front of the crowd and danced (almost) like there was no tomorrow. I didn’t last the whole night, but enough of it that I still enjoyed myself. And now I sit at home recovering and getting ready for a crippled week at work. ^^
hayden tompkins says:
I hope this doesn’t sound mean but every time I get injured while dancing I think “Just another casualty of awesome.”
I hope you feel better!!!
May 17, 2009 at 11:42 pm
dreemwhrld
I’m healing. But your reply begs the question – how often <i?do you injure yourself while dancing?
hayden tompkins says:
Statistically, not much. But since I do a lot of dancing it adds up. Mostly it’s just a quick twist of my ankle from an ill-executed twirl. (Which, by the way, I do all the time when I’m walking! Um…not that I’m twirling when I’m walking. Or, rather, I’m not usually twirling.)
May 11, 2009 at 4:34 pm
Kip de Moll
I’ve heard belly dancing is outrageously inspirational for women of all sizes. However you do it, let your joy show and the dance becomes you.
hayden tompkins says:
Belly Dancing philosophy tells all women that they are goddesses, it is their essence – not their image. So it definitely attracts a lot of women.