How to Overcome A Panic Attack

All it took was one car accident.

Photo by Mike Psiaki

After that, every time I passed – or was passed by – a semi-truck, I was struck by pure, all-encompassing terror.  No exaggeration, I have literally never been so scared in my entire life.  I would tremble in fear, my heart rate out of control, and I could barely breathe.

I was absolutely terrified.

Youth is often full of brash courage and fearlessness.  And though intellectually we know that bad things happen, there are so many hot stoves we have yet to touch.

Scare yourself enough times, however, and you become cautious, lose your daring, wonder what happened to your courage.

What we never realize when we’re young is that the courage of youth is unearned.  It is the certainty of someone who has yet to be tested.  All dangers for the young are theoretical and they are bound by no visceral fear.

The path to overcoming a panic attack is the path to the courage of adulthood.

“The brave are simply those with the clearest vision of what is before them – glory and danger alike and notwithstanding, go out to meet it.”

So how did I conquer my fear?

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1.  Realize you will never be who you were before.

Though I can drive without being struck dumb by fear (something to which my recent 10 hour driving extravaganza can attest), I am still on Defcon 1 when I come anywhere near a semi.  And when I am driving Chris’s car, I am flat-out nervous since his car may as well have a mast and sail for all the wind it catches.

But alert and nervous are definitely preferrable to tear-inducing terror.

2.  Face your fear.

I know it sounds corny, but I am dead serious.  You cannot run from your fear, for then you give it power over you.  You must face it and face it again.  You are not transforming yourself into a masochist, I assure you.  It is only with the repeated exposure that you get to battle your fear and win.  The more you win, the more organic your confidence.

Confidence that you can face and triumph in the circumstances which terrify you is key to conquering your panic attacks.

3.  Control the conditions.

When you face your fear, especially during the first times, you must be in complete control of the situation.  Or as complete a control is possible.

In my case it could be as simple as parking next to a stopped semi.  Or matching its speed on slower residential roads.

Even to this day I almost never pass, or let myself get passed, by a semi if I am next to a concrete wall or if we are in the middle of a curve.  I will not match a semi’s speed on the highway, instead choosing to hang back until the road is straight and I can accelerate past them.

If, however, I do happen to get trapped next to a semi despite my best efforts, I am no longer a heartbeat away from being incoherent with fear.

4.  Focus on your motivation.

At the time, was boyfriend had an internship in Tampa and so I routinely drove from Orlando to Tampa every weekend.  After the accident, despite my fear, I continued to make these hair-raising drives.  Nothing, not even my own fear, was going to keep me away from my man.

As any parent knows, nothing is more determined than a young person in love.

Even though I am no longer with that boyfriend, my absolute determination to let nothing come between us motivated me to what I might have otherwise avoided doing…facing my fear.

5.  It will get better with time.

It won’t happen overnight.  However, I can promise that your confidence in your abilities will increase comparatively quickly.  Even in the midst of your panic attack, you can keep your fear from controlling you.

6.  Above all, remember to breathe.

Courage

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Some people get stuck.  They believe that the reality of their fear is their reality.

And so their encounter, they believe, teaches them that the world is a dangerous place.  But what they don’t realize is that the world was always a dangerous place – it was merely their awareness of it that changed.  Understanding the danger, and going forth anyway, is part of becoming an adult.

When your child burns themself on a hot stove, they don’t stay away from the stove in perpetuity.  As they grow older they learn to use it.  They boil water or cook dinner.  They understand that though there is danger, they can use the stove without being in danger.

Sometimes we forget this lesson as adults.  We get ‘burnt’ in love and decide that being in love in dangerous, not worth the pain.  And thus we avoid it.  But love, unromantically, is much like a stove.  And so we meet the challenge of our fear again, in new disguises.

So face your fear, do not retreat or avoid or ignore it.  Go forth and cook.  And drive.

And especially go forth and love.