Absence truly does make the heart grow fonder, or at least dial up the intensity.

Since I have been working from home, my husband and I have been spending a huge amount of time together.  When I worked a 9-5, I used to yearn  to be with him.  It’s only been two weeks, but I can see how spending a lot of time with your spouse can slowly diffuse your feelings for them. 

I’ve also been paying close attention to how my working at home affects our intimacy and we were clearly on a downswing.  I say were, of course, because I nipped that in the bud!  How?

1.  Create a clear definition between ‘work’ and ‘play’.  That distinction used to be created by absence and by attire.  Though lounging around in one’s comfy pj’s sounds  enticing, it is hardly conducive to fostering passionate intimacy.

So I started changing into my vintage clothing goodness on our date nights, even if we had no plans to actually go out.  It’s like putting myself in technicolor as far as capturing his attention is concerned.  I’ve also started only wearing perfume at night, so there is a subtle tactile difference as well.

When the ‘work day’ is finished, I go immediately into uberaffectionate mode.  Even if he could ignore the clock, he can’t ignore me showering kisses all over his face.  It’s all about changing the energy, consciously directing your dynamic.

2.  Create a little absence.  Chris and I got in the habit of doing everything together because we’ve had such opposite schedules.  As we now suddenly have a lot more time together, we’ve had to rethink “Team Togetherness”.

So if he wants to work remotely from Starbuck’s while I stay at the house?  No problem. 

Some women might be upset that their beloved is leaving them, but remember…he can’t ever miss you if you are always together!

3.  Spend time with others.  When your relationship becomes too insular, you start to forget why your significant other lights your fire.  I am always reminded of how wonderful Chris is when I see him interact with other people, and how he is all mine.  You don’t want your relationship to silently slip into brother/sister territory while you wonder where the passion went. 

4.  Don’t be too intimate.  Listening to your beloved blow their nose or go to the bathroom or pass gas can slowly strangle the passion.  Sure it’s ‘comfortable’, but that’s what I used to deal with from my brothers, and things only got intense when they wanted to beat me up.  Hardly a strategy one wants to use for their marriage.

I’ve started kicking him out of the bathroom when I need to do anything personal.  He doesn’t need to watch me brush my teeth or give myself a facial or wax or moisturize or exfoliate.  As far as he’s concerned, the bathroom should stay a magical mystery place where I emerge looking more beautiful than ever.  Actually, they don’t really notice you looking more beautiful (unless you are wearing makeup) but they will  notice you feeling  more beautiful.

Also, I’ve started limiting how often we shower together.  It was sexy when we didn’t see each other all day, but the shower is now verboten unless it is specifically for ’sexy-time’.

5.  Don’t walk around naked.  I know this sounds counterintuitive but they, in fact, pay less  attention to you when you are au natural.  However, wear regular clothes but show a lot more cleavage than you typically would?  A dress that you wouldn’t wear in public?  Switch it up and have fun!

…or go au natural!  If you are a man, you would be SHOCKED at how sexy simple grooming can be for a woman.  Cut your nails, shave occassionally, and just because you don’t have to leave the house for two days doesn’t mean you have to wear the same pair of underwear the entire time.

6.  Bring coffee.  I don’t know what  the deal is with coffee, but everytime I make a pot or bring him a cup he gets gushy and romantic. 

Maybe it’s a side effect of caffeine, but if your significant other is a java lover then by all means…bring the java!