How To Be Homeless

Though I have never been homeless, as someone who has had to contemplate a homeless ‘lifestyle’ on more than one occasion when I was younger, I can tell you what I planned in that eventuality.

In light of yesterday’s discussion, it seems especially apropos to do so.

It isn’t pretty, but it can work.  People do it everyday, all over the world. 

1.  Cell Phone for Emergencies. 

Even if your phone doesn’t have a plan, it’ll have the capability of dialing 9-1-1.  This is an absolute must.  If you can afford an ‘emergency phone plan’, it is as inexpensive as $20 every 90 days with Virgin Mobile.  (Remember to keep your phone charged.)

$20 for the phone and charger; $80 a year for the plan.  $100.

2.  Weekly Contact.

Someone to call and check in with, weekly, so that people you care about can keep some kind of tabs on you.  FREE

3.  Active Bank Account.

You’ll need an active bank account to pay bills, and avoid keeping tons of cash on you.  Preferably a bank with a lot of locations in your city, perhaps also nationally.  In this instance, I would prefer a debit card with your picture on it.  Minimum Deposit:  $200

4.  Safe Deposit Box.

Make a copy of your birth certificate to keep with you, otherwise put the original, your social security card, and any other important papers in your safe deposit box.  A 2×5x12 box can run as low as $10 annually.  $10

5.  Storage for Your Stuff. 

If you have more personal items than you can carry with you, which is most people, you can rent a 5×5 space can for approximately $50 a month, usually the first month is free.  $551

6.  YMCA Membership for Daily Showers. 

A membership is approximately $600 for a year, which sounds high at first, until you think about the fact that $600 is probably less than what you spent on rent or a mortgage payment a month.  Being clean, hygienic, and non-aromatic is worth it…especially if you are working a regular job.  $600

7.  Bike and/or Monthly Bus Pass. 

Bikes are extremely inexpensive (garage sales abound) and maintenance is low-cost too.  You could spend as little as $200 in a year on a bike.  ($40 for a used bike, $70 to get it in shape, and $30 three times a year for a tune-up and extra supplies.)  A monthly bus pass might cost you 30 a month, or $360 for a year.  $200 or $360 or $560

8.  Multivitamin and Peanut Butter.

When you are eating less quality food, you need to ensure that you are getting all the vitamins you need.  $7 a year for a month, means you’ll just spend $84 for the year.

The less quality food?  A calorically dense and easy to carry jar of peanut butter.  At $3 a jar, 2 jars a week, your food for the year will cost $312.  $396

9.  P.O. Box

You can get a P.O. Box for as low as $10 a month, or $120 a year.  This way you’ll have a place where you can receive mail.  You can also put the P.O. Box on your resume, or job application.  Some private companies provide P.O. Boxes with ’street names’ so no one is the wiser and it doesn’t impact your hire-ability.  $120

10.  Portable Office. 

You’ll be juggling a lot of important balls and you’ll need to have your information as accessible as possible.  You’ll want a yearly planner ($10), a journal to write in ($10), and a pen ($2).  You’ll also want to keep a favorite, and preferably long, book with you.  It can comfort you, but it can also make it look like you are doing something other than ‘loiter’ when you are trying to find a place to relax.

If you have one, a jump drive would be ideal.  Also, you can ’store’ a lot online these days.  Just remember, you’ll be working mostly in paper as you’ll need more than intermittent access to your information.  $22

11.  Hygiene Essentials. 

You will absolutely need a toothbrush ($2), toothpaste ($2), soap ($2), sunscreen ($2) or a hat, and deodorant ($2).  This will cost you $10 a month or approximately $120 a year.  $120

12.  Food Essentials.

You will need a large water bottle, which you can fill up in clean business bathrooms.  (Preferably large, more anonymous businesses where they won’t notice when you pop in…like a book store.)  You will also need a spoon, fork, and knife.  $10

13.  Sharpie. 

For any signs or panhandling you need to do.  $24

14.  Go Freegan. 

“Freeganism is a total boycott of an economic system where the profit motive has eclipsed ethical considerations and where massively complex systems of productions ensure that all the products we buy will have detrimental impacts most of which we may never even consider. Thus, instead of avoiding the purchase of products from one bad company only to support another, we avoid buying anything to the greatest degree we are able.” 

(Basically Dumpster Diving)  FREE

15.  Clothing. 

You’ll need a needle, thread, and an army knife.  Black synthetic clothing which wears less, doesn’t fade, folds into a small space, doesn’t wrinkle, and dries quickly.  I’d say 2 pairs of pants, 2 pairs of socks, 4 shirts, and as many underthings as you can carry.  If you live in the north, you absolutely will need long johns and a sleeping bag.  $70+ 

16.  Shoes. 

You’ll need two pairs of shoes, a sturdy pair for everyday wear and a pair of flip flops for ‘relaxing’.  $30

17.  Backpacking.

You’ll want one that is sturdy and non-wearing.  If you can find one, a small collapsible tent for any times you need to sleep in the woods.  $20

18.  First Aid Kit.

You’ll want to keep the essentials on you.  Antibiotic ointment and hand gel is a must.  $10

19.  Bed.

You’ll need a bed which is portable, easily to clean, and doesn’t advertise that you are homeless.  The solution?  A solid yoga mat!  $20

20.  Self-Defense.

You’ll need a collapsible knife that looks like it means business and a can of mace.  $30

21.  Duct tape.

Keep a roll on you for emergencies.  If it’s good enough for NASA, it’s good enough for me.  $5

22.  Job.

If you can swing better than minimum wage, you will have a ‘real’ source of income.  This is why it is completely worth it to have a YMCA membership.  You can stay clean and presentable so you can work.  PRICELESS

23.  Information.

The toughest part of being homeless is getting all the information you’ll need.  You’ll want to know where libraries and homeless shelters are, what you can qualify for via Medicare and Medicaid, and local government programs which you qualify for.

It will also be a challenge finding a place to sleep, a regular place to do laundry, and ways to amuse yourself.  You’re best bets for recreation will be the dollar theater ($1 for two hours of AC and entertainment) and the library (FREE).

It isn’t the ideal living situation, but it is doable.  Once I had this plan in place, I was never afraid of being homeless again.  The basic cost, according to this analysis, is $2600 a year.

Final Thoughts

Apparently I need to clarify what this post is about, because it seems that people think I am advocating a homeless lifestyle.  I AM NOT. 

I came up with this plan when I was a kid because I lived in an abusive household and never knew when or how my father would flip out.  Luckily I went to an incredible foster home instead.  But I can tell you, when you live from a place of complete uncertainty and instability, you can be incredibly fearful…as I imagine many in the current economy are.

One commenter actually was  left homeless and alone by her parent at the age of 14. 

“One day I was a normal teenager from a dysfunctional family (totally normal these days), boarding school totally sucked but it was ok because on the “out” weekends I could go home, holidays were treasured just like any kid.  The next day a teacher comes up to me to tell me that my mother didn’t have time to speak to me but that she had left the country, return date unknown.”

It is horrifying.  It is scary.  Especially when you don’t know what to do. 

If someone decides to be homeless on purpose – that is their decision; we are living in increasingly tougher times.  Many people are living in their cars as an extreme way to dig themselves out of the debt blackhole.

PersistentIllusion is a blog dedicated to living on purpose.  You can still accomplish this, live on purpose instead of being bounced around in the chaos of unforeseen catastrophe, even if you are at your ‘lowest’.  I can’t know what works for you, but I do know that living in constant fear can suck your will to live. 

Stumble It

This post has apparently been ’stumbled’ or something.  (Darned if I know.)  So here is the link if you too are ’stumble happy’. 

  Stumble It!