The seventh edition of the manival is out! Just pop by SimpleMarriage to check out many of the excellent articles dedicated to manliness.
Some of my favorites…
- The Art of Manliness outlines the characteristics of a man.
- 4Mind4Body talk about the deliciousness of men wearing pink. (My words, not theirs!)
- GotManswers (to every man a manswer!) wrote a funny post on what the manliest television show would look like. Move over Tim Allen.
- SavvyDaddy loses it in defense of his family and wonders, what wouldn’t I do?
- iamhusband, in my personal favorite, discusses the realization that his wife doesn’t want to do the dishes either.
People wonder why, as a woman, I am so dedicated to topics of ‘manliness’ and being a man.
Chances are if you aren’t a man, then your life partner is a man. Whether you want to be a better man – a more inspired husband, an involved father, a successful businessman – or be with a better man, you are probably aware that there is a lack in this country of material on what it means to be a man.
As being a 50’s era breadwinner and head of household is no longer what it means to be a man, so too is retreating from responsibilities and letting the woman of your life handle everything. Being a man today means strength coupled with flexibility; self-knowledge, without ‘forcing’ this self on others or sacrificing it for the sake of your partnership; and fully experiencing life with an open heart, authentically, without cutting your beloved out.
Support of the ‘menaissance’ is critical in creating the breathing room needed for men to take chances and transform their lives and their relationships.
And with better men come better women and with better women come better men and with better men come better women and with better women…
3 comments
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June 10, 2008 at 11:08 pm
marlajayne
I read the first article that you linked, and I enjoyed it…especially the pictures. Your post reminded me of a book I read a long time ago, and I think the name of it was Beyond the Male Myth. While I might not remember the exact title of the book, I’ll never forget the “awakening” I had while reading it. It was during the late 70’s or early 80’s, and I was into women’s rights in a big way…or as big of a way as a wife, mother of two children, graduate student, and full-time employee could be.
I’ll cut to the chase and just say that until I read that book, I never realized the pressure that society placed on men to be men, real men…macho, capable, logical, all-knowing (about cars, home repairs, finances, and so forth), and strong. Even if a man had a question, he wasn’t allowed to ask (like for directions) for fear of looking less manly.
Anyway, I’m not saying the book and its concepts were absolutely right, but I am saying that I’d rather be a woman than a man anyday. Our paths aren’t always easy either, but hey, all I have to do is look around the world at the lives of other women to know that this gal has it made even if she does get stuck with a lot of the “second shift” duties.
hayden tompkins says:
MJ, your reading list constantly amazes me!
I think what has blown me away is the fact that men have more choice than simply being a caveman vs. being a ’sensitive’ guy. The third option doesn’t the same PR as the other two, which is one reason I like the Manivals.
Oh and, btw, agoodhusband.net (a blog I HIGHLY respect and regular contributor to the Manival) is a member of LDS.
June 11, 2008 at 3:14 pm
thedailydish
I agree w/ MarlaJayne. Men may have it “easier” when it comes to many MANY things. But they are also trapped in more formal constraints than women in many respects. They simply don’t have the freedom to let go and be themselves the way women do. They are trained from an early age to fight against many natural urges – I believe to their detriment.
hayden tompkins says:
A lot of those, I think, are based in expressing their emotions. It’s one reason why marriage can be so liberating for men, because it can be safe enough for them to relax into their own emotions and be more playful.
June 11, 2008 at 5:01 pm
Kip de Moll
Your last paragraph struck my heart. Raised in a family of sisters and a strong mother, I have a very strong female part developed, but only now am I really investigating the possibility of that 3rd choice you’re speaking about. I have been raised and trapped in that “50’s role” (by my own design and choices), and been failing miserably to provide either financial or emotional security. Each time, I spread my wings, they seemed to be quickly clipped.
Now is the time to discover, to explore, to learn the balance of self and relationship.
“A man begets a better woman begets a better man begets…” to paraphrase your sage words.
hayden tompkins says:
It also takes a lot of trust – to either trust your family member to make good choices or, more importantly, trust yourself to do the same.
This is a wonderful thing to embrace! I am very excited for what’s around the corner…