Yesterday I was feeling distinctly uncharitable toward the previous owner as we did the walk-through of our new home.

I guess Ms. Previous Owner felt that since she was moving in two months she didn’t need to do anything, like mow the grass, remove her trash, or sweep up bug carcasses.
.
All throughout the walk-through, Chris and the Realtor kept looking at me expectantly like they were waiting for something.
I finally figured out that they were waiting for me to be happy. Every step of the way, through every challenge, I had been ecstatic, grateful, and happy. And here I was raining on their parade when they wanted to celebrate.
Get angry.
We think that living peacefully means never getting angry and living in perpetual sunshine. Yet how can we be live on purpose, authentically, if we are constantly judging and censoring everything that we do and think? Our job is not to ignore and suppress emotions we consider negative. By doing that, we are assuming that we are supposed to ‘be’ a certain way and we make the presumption that anger is ‘bad’.
You shouldn’t anything.
Thinking that we ’should’ be happy all the time is just as bad as thinking we ’should’ be richer. It was the ’should’ that helped create my unhappiness in the first place! It wasn’t the dirty house that upset me, it was the thought that the house ’should’ be a certain way.

Anger: Not The Problem
Anger is simply a sign that something, internally or externally, is out of whack. Anger can be an incredible indicator, like pain. So don’t ever ignore your anger because it might be trying to tell you something. No one, however, wants to walk around pissed off all the time either. That doesn’t serve anyone and worse of all - it’s an indication that you aren’t addressing whatever it is that you need to address.
Be a love boomerang.
Living from love, completely, all of the time is definitely possible, but also something that is definitely graduate level. The first goal is not to live in love all the time, but come back to love all the time. Most people are going to get ticked off or frustrated or sad. You shouldn’t feel bad when you do, just come back to living from love.
And, luckily, that’s pretty easy. The first and main step to bringing yourself back to a place of love is to sit in gratitude. That’s it.
I’ll start.
Dear Ms. Previous Owner,
I am truly grateful that you came down in your offer price and that you left the gas logs. I am grateful that you kept your cabinets in good condition. And, above all, I am grateful that you picked us to live in your home.
Sincerely, Hayden Tompkins

P.S. I would also be incredibly grateful if you mowed the lawn before you left!







5 comments
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May 22, 2008 at 7:34 pm
Connie
As you or hubby are mowing the overgrown, new lawn surround yourself in a bubble of love and think the previous homeowner is probably mowing his/her overgrown new lawn
persistentillusion says:
LMAO! I will say this is definitely making me rethink how I hand over our apartment.
May 23, 2008 at 12:53 am
thedailydish
Hayden you sound like me. You expect things to be a certain way in the new house b/c that is how you will leave yours. My mom is the QUEEN OF THIS philosophy, the type of person who cleans the house for the cleaning lady. People have different standards. Don’t sweat the small stuff. The house will be clean and beautifully kept when you & Chris move in. Till then, just focus on your packing. And dreaming. And mental rearranging, decorating, and organizing. I like the way you ended this post. Happy again.
persistentillusion says:
Yes, being angry is like having a good cry. Sometimes you just wanna! I did find out very shortly after writing this that she IS, in fact, cleaning and mowing. YIPEE! Of course, it’s no palatial Philly estate, but she’ll do for our first bundle of sunshine. And you can’t have sunshine with dead bugs.
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May 23, 2008 at 1:19 pm
thedailydish
Hahahahah! BRING ON THE SUNSHINE! Thanks so much for buying us all envirosacs btw. your kindness is w/out measure. Love ya babe! Have a wonderful weekend.
persistentillusion says:
Well now everyone will have a fabulous Memorial Day Weekend!
May 23, 2008 at 3:36 pm
marlajayne
You always write such thought provoking posts that I sometimes have a bit of a challenge deciding on just one thing to comment on. In other words, it’s all so good! What I was thinking of primarily is that sometimes these so-called negative emotions like anger can be positive in that they’re sending us a message about something that we need to take care of. Plus, I think anger can be so powerful and energizing that it can prompt us to take action. The key is being able to balance the courage to say something with the consideration to say just the right thing…to manage the anger effectively.
persistentillusion says:
Hmmm. So good it’s hard to comment. Is that good?? But I digress!
“the courage to say something” I wish more people were assertive about who they are and what they feel. I see so many people stuff their true emotions, especially with family, and they just take it and take it. It’s absolutely miserable.