You guys are are absolutely dumbfounded by the workings of a woman’s mind.  I suspect a man would rather study the almost-impossible-to-quantify world of quantum physics than even attempt to figure a woman out.

I know we can seem like a twisted, labyrinthine mystery but let’s see if we can bring a little light to the dark world of the feminine mind.

Sex Appeal

Men think they have to ‘be’ sexy to be sexy.  You guys think that muscles paired with a tight black t-shirt make you sexy?  Sure, they are sexy, but they don’t make you sexy.

Contrary to popular belief, muscles do not a hottie make.  Feverishly working on your quads, triceps, and biceps is no guarantee that you will be a chick magnet.

A man is sexy because of his being, his attitude, and his power.  A man who is totally in touch with who he is and what he is about is in touch with his power. That’s not to say that a woman can’t find a man with muscles attractive, as Will Smith clearly illustrates.

Is that why hot women date scrubs?

A woman is not necessarily attracted to how a man looks, but always how a man is.  That is why you can see a beautiful women with a scrub.  He is in touch with who he is, regardless of how he looks.

Sometimes, the beautiful woman even makes the guy hotter.

For example, Ashton Kutcher never used to be an across-the-board hottie.  Sure, he was easy on the eyes, but he came across like an idiot and idiots are not sexy.

Then he hooked up with Demi Moore.  Now, don’t get me wrong, Demi is a beautiful woman.  But the fact of the matter is that Demi is an older woman and he could have had any ditzy, gorgeous starlet his age.

What’s really crazy is that they are a ‘real’ couple; he isn’t just arm candy for her.  Suddenly there is ‘more’ to Ashton than just his genetics, he obviously cherishes her, and that gives him depth that he previously didn’t have.  Now he is across-the-board sexy.

It’s not like how he ‘looked’ changed at all.  It had to do with the ‘him’ of him.

So let’s break it down.  What do women find sexy?  (Hint: It has less to do with your prowess in bed and all to do with your being.)

1.  Respect yourself. If you don’t respect you, she certainly won’t.  Chasing after her for validation is not sexy.  Every woman has dated that guy who was like a puppy.  Panting at her feet, he would take whatever she deigned to dish out.  That woman, by the way, was totally turned off by that guy and had no respect for him.

2.  Take care of yourself. Guys who do not shower, brush their teeth, or wear clean clothes are not sexy.

The only reason this guy got Kate Moss is because they share a love of cocaine and she was probably high whenever they hooked up.

And finally, the most important thing you can do to amp your sex appeal…

3.  Find your passion. Figure out what you are here to do and do it.

It is incredibly sexy when a man is a master at something.  There is nothing sexier than a man in get-it-done mode.  You could be carpenter or a Wall Street financier, and we would still find you sexy.  You could even master a hobby, like pool, and we’ll line up to watch you do it.

That’s why even comedians get women.  Sure, they may look kind of odd and are horribly insecure, but a good comedian is sexy because he is good at it.  Jon Stewart on the street?  Eh.  Jon Stewart cracking jokes with a twinkle in his eye?  Where, oh where, is my push-up bra!

Don’t believe me?  Check out Benjamin Franklin, the master of mastery.  He was a wanted man well into his 70s and 80s.

Get in touch with your being and take action…

“A state of BEING balances DOING. Doing without BEING is numbness. Being without doing causes suffering. Whatever the moment gives you (…even in the midst of crisis) there is opportunity if you’re present.

…What’s the point in having dreams if you are not going to follow them?”

-Aaron Huey, Fire Mountain Programs