12. Don’t be afraid of the head honcho.
It happens when you are least expecting it…you are stuck on the elevator with the head honcho. 30 agonizingly slow second pass while you rack your brain for something, anything, intelligent to say.
If you are unfortunate to ride in a mirrored elevator it’s even worse because there is no safe place to put your eyes. You don’t want to look shifty, aggressive, frightened, or bored.
Lo! Verily I say to thee, though the elevator ride to passeth into lengthiness, you do not want to smite your career through false and forced idle banter.
Fear, the fifth horseman of the apocalypse. Your boss can smell fear. No matter his or her best intentions, your fear transforms the dynamic of the immediate relationship. Your boss is not transformed into a predator, but your fear can trigger their ‘predatory’ instincts.
This is Ground Control to Minor Peon. The casual interaction between boss and underling can occur with two dynamics: boss to peon or person to person.
Your fear kick-starts that interaction into manager-minion territory.
People are people. Excluding The Donald, a head honcho is just another person in this mixed-up crazy world. If you happen to run into your boss outside of work, with a bonus of you wearing your rattiest t-shirt, relax.
The real world is your turf, where the presumption is ‘equal until proven otherwise’.
What, oh what, can a trapped minion do?
1. Know your news. Preferably a disaster, something that no one with a pulse could be hard-hearted about. A quick, “Did you hear about the tornadoes in Tennessee?” can give you a good 20 seconds to 2 minutes of human to human consideration of others. Consider it a public service. If Head Honcho is considering the less fortunate in another state, you have brought out their humanity.
2. Know your weather. If unusual weather is on the horizon, or you are experiencing a day of meteorological bliss, or weather which is a blight on your day – use that as fodder for small talk. You can even launch that into a full-blown conversation with the introduction of your place of origin, “This heat is driving me crazy! All my friends back in Canada are laughing at me right now.”
This could turn into “Really? I’m from Saskatchewan” or “Too bad. I’m from Phoenix and all my friends are jealous.”
3. Avoid politics like the plague it is. Don’t, whatever happens, get into a discussion of politics and candidates. It’ll be tempting.
If you must utter some politically targeted platitude, go with something like “I’m so worn out already. It’s the only thing I ever see on tv anymore. Except for reality shows.”
4. Reality shows are real…good conversation. Reality shows evoke a visceral reaction from people. Either they love ANTM or Project Runway, they despise American Gladiators, or are fascinated by The Moment of Truth.
If your Head Honcho is from the ice ages and knows nothing about any shows, then you can always describe the premise and follow up with a “Crazy!”
‘Crazy’ could be crazy awesome, or crazy stupid. Just let their mind fill in the appropriate descriptor.
5. Plan B. When all else fails, talk about the weekend. You either just had one, are about to have one, or wish you were having one. You never denigrate your job, but even the Head Honcho knows that a weekend is infinitely preferable to work.
And if the head honcho asks you what you did, what you will do, or what you plan to do, the million dollar answer is “relax”.
Everyone loves a weekend and everyone loves being relaxed. (You know, that thing you should be on the elevator.)
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If you liked this article check out Rules for Success: #11
3 comments
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February 7, 2008 at 4:23 pm
cordieb
PI, I’ve been checking out your rules for success this week and last week. Today, I suddenly remembered the most embarrasing moment I’ve ever had at work. 14 years ago, soon after starting a new job, I gave a power point presentation to the Commander and each of the headers (titles, which are copied from one slide to the next) (approximately 15 slides), which were suspose to have the heading “Office of Public Safety” was titled “Office of Pubic Safety.” So, I have to add . . . don’t rely on spell check, and proof your assistant’s and your work over and over. Don’t wait untill the last minute to finalize, and have somone else proof too.
persistentillusion says:
CordieB, stop trying to make me laugh at work. It’s too much!!
Can I tell you about the time I wrote SEX instead of SEC in a formal filing? The ‘x’ is right next to the ‘c’ on the keyboard.
The attorney, wisely, did not even bat an eye.
February 8, 2008 at 4:38 pm
Rules for Success: #13 « Persistent Illusion
[...] Rules for Success: #12 [...]
February 10, 2008 at 8:15 am
Guerrillero
I always tell to my friends and family there should be a Plan B in all enterprise. It makes you fee somehow reassured.