Rules for Success: #6

6.  Never denigrate yourself.  Why even worry about the office rumor mill or vicious gossip when, half of the time, the majority of the damage to our esteem and professionalism comes out of our own mouth?

We cast aspersions on our own character, badmouth our abilities, disparage ourselves, and tear down our self-esteem.

How is anyone going to take you seriously if you regale the office every Monday morning with tales of drinking from the weekend before?  Why is someone going to trust you to manage a project if you don’t even trust yourself?

Never directly or indirectly shoot yourself in the foot. 

There are two ways to torpedo your professionalism:  1) talk about all the inappropriate things you do in your life; discuss your weekly forays to a strip club or how you sit at home with your 30 cats, or 2) be your own smear campaign; say stuff like “no one likes me” or call yourself stupid.

You may as well wear a sign that says “I don’t value myself and neither should you.”

Never say “I’m sorry”.  People have gotten into the habit of saying “I’m sorry”. 

• Someone trying to get past you in the hall?  “I’m sorry.”
• Someone tells you about their crazy project?  “I’m sorry.”
• Some is waiting to use the copier?  “I’m sorry.”
• Unavailable to help?  “I’m sorry.”

Don’t be sorry!  Be disappointed, excuse yourself, you’ll be just a minute, or wow – you can’t believe what’s involved in that project.  Every time you utter “I’m sorry”, it’s like inflation, and you devalue your own currency.

Be cool with you.  Are you interested in something obscure and geeky?  Perhaps you have a yen for Renaissance Fairs. 

Do you dress differently than your office co-minions? Perhaps they favor the polo shirt and you prefer a good sweater-tie combo.  Do you go skydiving on your weekends while everyone else catches up on their yard-work?  Or are you the one catching up on your yard-work while everyone else did something interesting. 

Whatever the identifying factor that is you which sets you apart from your co-workers is also the factor which sets you apart from your co-workers.  Whatever it is, wear it with style and confidence. 

You’ll often find that coworkers might harp on this one thing and you’ll be tempted to go postal on them, however, keep in mind that your divergent sense of fun is probably an excellent conversation piece.

Being noncomformist as an asset.  Co-minions may make you feel ‘weird’ and ’strange’ for doing what you do.  In reality, you are interesting and nonconformist while maintaining a high-level of professionalism.

Now you have their attention.  Who are they talking about?  You!  Now it’s up to you to ensure that your work is excellent and your manners exquisite.

Be comfortable in this spotlight and you can be comfortable in the spotlight of responsibility and success. 

Don’t care.  Not everyone will get you nor will everyone like you.  That’s ok.  If someone tells you that they don’t like something, don’t take it personally.  If everyone liked the same things then we would live in a very boring society.

As long as your co-minions don’t abusively express their distaste, everything is cool.  Tell them that though you disagree, you appreciate their candor and are delighted by their quirky sense of taste.  Then move along.  You have more interesting things to do.

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If you liked this article check out Rules for Success: #5.