1.  Have a cuddle-thon.  When you walk in the door, put your stuff down and spend a good two minutes loving and cuddling your spouse.  Do you have pets or children?  Then add them to the mix and have a love-a-thon.  That’s right.  Do it at the door and before you have ‘integrated’ back in the house.  Do it before you put your stuff away.  Do that everyday, and then it won’t matter that you need 30 minutes of ‘you’ time before you start talking about your day. 

2.  Giftwrap.  Get rid of every piece of old, hole-y, stained, gross piece of underwear.  This goes for EVERYONE.  Just do it; no excuses.  I am not saying you have to prance around in Victoria’s Secret, or Gucci for Men but why grossly wrap your lady or man-bits and then be shocked that your spouse doesn’t want to unwrap them?

3.  Let’s pretend.  Go on a date and pretend you don’t know each other.  Men, I don’t want to hear it.  If you can play World of Warcraft or Fantasy Football, then you can pretend you don’t know your spouse.  Get ready in separate locations and meet at the ‘date’ location.  Do everything you would do if you were getting ready for your first date with a hottie.

Think about it, how much time at home do you really have to talk about non-getting-it-done items?  Maybe you never got around to telling your s/o that you are the office poet laureatte.  Maybe you never thought to mention that you and Dennis in office services trade yo’ mamma jokes all day. 

You’d be surprised about how much you don’t know about your spouse.

4.  Take a Non-Retreat Retreat.  Put it in your voicemail and email that you are not available for a week.  Don’t answer any calls from your Mother, children (if they are out-of-the-house-adults), out-of-state friends, the boys, or the girls for a whole week.  Also, don’t check your personal email.  Sure, still go to work and take care of business.  But come all the way home.

5.  Spend an entire day in silence.  Like a Saturday.  The catch is that you can’t ignore each other either and you actually have to do something.  80% of communication is non-verbal anyway, get rid of the inefficient 20%.  Exemptions for emergencies. 

If you have kids react age appropriately.  Still coo at your baby and toddler.  Explain to your five year old that you are playing a game.  (Wouldn’t you like them to learn how to be silent, anyway?)  And tell your teenagers that they’ll get $5 if they can stay silent (you know they can) and another $5 if they catch either of you talking in a non-emergency situation.

6.  Switch chores.  Just for a little bit.  If you do dishes and your spouse cleans the bathroom then switch.  Stay and supervise.  Have your spouse do exactly what you do.  Tell them why.  If anything it’ll be a hoot to watch your spouse clean the gutters if they have never done it before.  I would even take pictures.  You can’t buy a pick-me-up this good.

7.  Xena, Warrior Princess.  Give each other a name.  Caveat:  It has to be awesome and you have to use it.